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Monday, January 3, 2011

sch's tmr, idw 2011 to start juz yet,
im not even prepared to leave 2010 behind .
its lyk as if, 2010 hasnt rilly started n thn 2011 is here
time is passing by too quickly,
i wanna rewind, slow down , repeat time.
so many things to say,
so many opportunities missed,
so many ppl walked in n out of my life but most arent here to stay
i came to a conclusion th other day,
everyone is selfish
whether they noe it or not.
its a dog eat dog world out thr
but since ur a dog
might as well sacrifice urself n let ppl eat u
so u will spare th earth from another dog rite?
aiya i noe i dun make sense to everybody lahs
no one gets it
no one gets wat im thinking
call me weird
call me strange
call me psycho
trust me,
most of u r simply too busy to try n understand,
some of u r simply too dense to understand,
those hu understand?
busy with their own lives, walked out of my life
or simply thr r none.

i hav things to say so say them i shall:

(in no order of anything)

fwen number 1: uve been my bestie since th start of 2010, sumtimes, i dun understand u at all. sometimes ur so nice to me, caring, kind, funny, owaes thr to listen to my problems. i thank u for tht. however, thr r times whr i simply feel tht i cannot understand u at all. u see another fwen, u str8 away start toking to her even tho im right beside her, i think to myself, ur excited to see her becuz u hav things to tell her, yes i try n understand. but, whyye isit tht even when i say hiie to u, u simply ignore me n start toking to her? m i invisible? until much ltr even tho i was walking beside u all th time, thn u realised im thr n says hiie. wats up with tht? i call u in th day, in th night, becuz i hav urgent things to tok abt to u. u simply dun pick up. fine, u dun hav caller id, i understand. but seriously, isit tht hard to simply send me a text n ask if i was th one hu called u? no right? surely, its easy to guess hu called u. but i guess, its not a matter of difficulty but a matter of whether u care enuff to actually come n find me. at times, i call, ur parents say ur bathing. thr was once i called n they said u were bathing, 1.5hrs ltr, they gave th same excuse. dun tell me u bathe for over 1.5hrs n after tht u cant even send me a text. if u didnt want to pick up my call, i'd rather u tell me ur busy or sumthing rather thn giving me lame excuses all th time. sumtimes, i rilly wonder, isit possible tht everytime i call u u nvr pick up but yet u can answer other ppl's calls n even call them juz to chat with them. im not saying u nvr called me to tok to me but. one time, i texted u, asking if u wanna go shopping with me, u didnt even bother to reply until u saw me in sch th next day, ur excuse? "i was at a fwen's hse ytd n didnt wanted to leave" wtf is tht kind of excuse? i nvr even told u when i wanted to go or whr. u think im so selfish as to ask u to leave wateva ur doing n come str8 to whr i am? no im not. u cud hav simply replied saying ur busy tht day n when i wanted to go rite? but u didnt.

fwen number 2:
i noe uve been thru alot in 2010, i can tell tht uve changed from a happy personality to a frustrated n emo one. i want to let u noe, tht even if i might not understand wat it is tht ur going thru, i will try n understand if u let me. if u hav problems, i want u to noe tht u can come to me anytime. lyk i said, even if i dun understand, i can pei u worry abt it tgt or sth n help u make things not seem so horrible okayy? i might not hav been a good fwen in th past, but i rilly treasure this fwenship we hav n i want to be thr for u when u nid me. i may not share as many things with u as i do with other ppl but thts becuz im afraid tht u wudnt understand n be burdened with my problems instead. i hope u do understand.

fwen number 3:
we've had so much fun times tgt, shopping, gaming etcetc. but sumhow i feel tht we arent rilly tht close, i hope tht in 2011 we can share our thots n problems with one another n be even closer thn before. i dun want us to become one of those on n off kind of fwens okayy?

fwen number 4:
uve been such a good fwen to me this past yr. bet ur ears must hav alr rotted away listening to me rant n rant n rant nonstop all th time. dun worry i'll get u a pair of bunny ears but u will hav to continue being my listening ear. sometimes ur advices r hurting but most of th time, they set me thinking n prove a point. i may giv u stupid advices in return but most of them arent jokes, they're real.

ive so much more to say but if i dun get started on my hmk right this moment as im typing, im rilly gonna be dead tmr-.- goodness gracious. fcuk u sch-'-



i dreamt about you and me at 6:10:00 PM.
this is my world
my fairytale kingdom
whr im th princess
& everyone else are juz
th flowers in th meadows
i giv my orders
followed, they shall be
things goes my way in this realm
of fantasy n mirage
no boundaries shall be crossed
for i am th one hu calls th shots
live in my palace
be my mistresses
or be entitled to eternal slavery
u hav no say when i exist

my existence is a silent rhapsody;
in this insouciant era .
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